didnt we say no more talking to eachother
it will help you get over me i promise
im horny
ok i will unlock the door
I'm at derby!
The kentucky derby! But its night time, theres no way the horses are awake at this time.
I wanted to tell him he wasn't actually in me, but my god, awkward?
he said my vag tasted like ravioli n pennies... i forgot I was on my period
I think the recipie for awesome sauce is butter and semen
that's the nicest way anyone's ever asked me to send them naked pics before...
I just saw a sign that said "STRIPPERS!!! As seen on Jerry Springer!". As if Springer is the highest honor. I'm pretty sure we're in south Georgia.
she has an amazing ass but I need more beers to get past her horse face. It works out perfect becauseI can use her teeth as a bottle opener.
She thought that based on the way she feels that she got drugged last night, but come on, her turn on word is hello, who needs to drug that??
This is the high leading the old right now
The narcoleptic neighbor conked out while taking her dog out again. Drinking game based on what the dog does and how long she's out. You in?
I just want brownies and waffles and someone to lick my tits
So what your saying is I can use her desperation to my advantage. Fuck, this must be how pretty girls feel.
There is an episode of "how it's made" on tv right now. The subject is tequila and water beds. Basically my life.
He couldn’t find my clit with a map. Literally. I drew him a map.
Randomize
