Doo rag and shades in the bar. You are missing your future husband.
I never said you were fat, just too fat for ME
It's an acquired taste. Like keystone. Or caviar.
I can die happy now, I have been kicked out of strip clubs on six different continents
Have you ever seen a midget fist pump? BEST. THING. EVERRRRR.
I had 4 margarita's and 2 mixed drinks and i blew zero's. Its a cinco de mayo miracle.
no, forget the keg and come see this. prego pants here is dunking chicken nuggets into pudding and crying over a cat show on animal planet.
after last halloween when i met that 26yr old guy from russia who was hot until we madeout and he became obsessed with touching my forehead after the ecstasy he did and then tried to sell me pills from an m&m mini container, i think im staying away from parties downtown
cashier rang me up and said, "white people are funny." like i'm NOT the only white person to buy just lettuce & 40 glow sticks
PLEASE. I won't throw up on the floor this time. Or fuck in the bathroom. Or dance on the pool table. So PLEASE.
Going to the beach. Greeting Sandy with a blunt. Wish us luck!
Yeah i was handcuffed to the bed all night but i actually slept like a baby
Just got a handjob from a 19 year old in front of the Parthenon. The Greek god of debauchery would be proud.
I gotta give him props though, I've never been propositioned for sex via flash mob.
Gonna try and have sex in the empire state bldg, will tell you how it goes
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