Once you see the odd facial expressions and noises a guy makes while he is furiously beating off on top of you, it kind of puts things into perspective.
after giving me morning oral, he left saying "hate to eat and run but..." oh yeah, he's getting a second date.
You named all of the cocktail shrimps and then tackled a guy for "eating Henry"
I found the hair cut I want on the girl in the porno I'm watching. now really sure how to show my stylist.
The same guy who pierced my nipples just told me he can help tutor me in precalc.
Oh you have a half-brother? Why that's right up my alley! Let's cause family strife
Tearing families apart since 2011.
styled my pubes into a mustache as a surprise. Thought you should know
You chucked an empty vodka bottle against the wall and yelled "Everyone calm the fuck down, it's just the cops." After 10 seconds of silence I looked over and saw you pissing their fountain.
I got slapped by a drag queen and bitten on the arm by either a random girl or a weird mouth shaped dog. Tough to tell without seeing the teeth
All three of my roommates have their significant others over. We're all hanging out in the living room. It's like I'm the trifecta of third-wheeling
Tears For Fears is the only thing getting me through life at this moment.
He played with my nipples while singing "How great thou art"
Dear god my vagina.
so does the amount of bruises on my arms and legs mean we had fun last night?
The weirdest part of it all was wondering if I was going to take off his fanny pack or he was before we fucked
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