woke up and she was making me crepes. definitely not the last time i fuck a culinary student
dude, never let a drunk girl playbite your dick. the doctor came in laughed and left.
I'm having sex on a snuggie, yes i stopped to text you
The words "my birth control fell out" should never be spoken
Nothing like hearing a USA chant while getting head. God bless America.
Lesbian sex in an alleyway drunk.
No exaggeration. At the gas station she handed me the mop from over the counter and told me that's my last drink of the night
A little, yeah. We were stealing firewood from the neighbors (drunk), and figured it would be 10 times harder to be angry with us if we got caught if we were naked, and 100% more hilarious.
i'm gonna friendzone myself so you dont have to
I'm trying to get weird tonight. Like I want to see bitches crawling on all fours drinking milk from bowls and shit by 5 am. You down?
And for the record I didn't even have sex last night. I threw up in his toilet and slept in his bed until noon
Just had an orgasim to the Star Spangled Banner so.. it was all worth it.
She grinded so hard on my face that I've got rugburn on both eyelids
Can I bother you for a second.
You always bother me but go on.
it's okay that you two hooked up in the family bathroom at the mall.. i just pray to god you were not making a family in the family bathroom..
Randomize
