How long until YT realizes that it's a man?
The solution to mudbutt is never ever Clorox wipes. It stings soooooooo bad.
Santa Clause just drove by me on a fire truck. Epic night begins.
I'm watching the Australian Open. They need to slow the fuck down. It's hard enough to follow sober and now it's just pissing me off.
We were just talking bout putting on helmets and going fo a car ride just to see how ppl react. I will def fit in here haha
not the best booty call
did she squirt?
only if tears count
Just caught my dad doing coke in my bathroom again. Guess whose getting a new car for christmasss.
Tried to dodge fire in poncho. Fell through fence. Blood everywhere.
At least you got a round of applause for dancing like vanilla ice across the street and into the bar. Even as you were getting carded
dying me prepared for dead me... i woke up with my laptop open to the last snl episode, a bottle of gatorade, advil and a bag of chocolate all next to me
woke up to my little sister's best-friend's boyfriend in my bed, but how's your saturday going?
Certain restrictions may apply. Common side effects of sex with me include unbridled joy, a healthy glow, soreness and the inability to walk for short to long amounts of time. If any of these side effects occur please consult your physician, so he/she can prescribe me a "high-five".
You know those times when you're sitting down for a while and r like damn I'm sober but then stand up and r like WOAH HOLD UP.
I woke up with an eye patch on, someone else's sweatshirt on, and no pants on. I hope it was a good night.
I mean, I'm not hammered, but I definitely can't show my face or tits in that bowling alley again
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