I've already planned a drinking game for mtvs jersey shore....jagerbomb everytime they do
how does Santa get into Hogwarts?
your youtube search consisted of "food slideshow" and "the angry beavers"
People are suprisingly accepting of someone doing a walk of shame in a toga...
Someone better explain the burnt stove marks on my bed.
So I found the perfect "Yeah I gained weight since high school but it went to all the right places" outfit for the reunion this weekend.
you stumbled up the stairs in your heels, pulled 23 one-dollar bills out of your bra and then went and puked in the toilet. didnt say a single thing to me the whole time
I feel like it'll be a success as long as she doesn't end up dead in a ditch. There has to be a line somewhere.
you were caressing the jar of pickles then you looked down and whispered to them "I want you inside me"
But I'm currently thinking of all my bad decision making last night and giving myself a time out.
So I woke up alone in the hotel room clutching a bible to my chest. Explain, please.
I helped you wax your vagina and you won't even get me Corn Nuts you fucking bitch?
i spent most of my hangover doing the math to figure out the last of the alcohol would be metabolized from my system.
thank you pre-med degree.
Don't care if they even pay me; I lifeguard for the fringe benefits -- free tourist vagina in the Hilton jacuzzi every single night
I just walked in on Joel doing a buck naked tripod headstand in front of the mirror so he could see the bug bite on his balls
Randomize
