capris are just wrong
its like "what can i possible wear to make myself look short and fat? Oh I know!!"
smelt my brothers hands when he got home to see if he lied about smoking again...he didn't lie but i definitely didn't expect to smell some other girls vagina.
someone wrote on his wall: "congrats on your engagement"
I think you may want to look into that...
There were so few words spoken that I'm not sure if it was make-up or break-up sex.
getting up at 8am to start drinking seemed like a much better idea before I had to wake up at 8am
I wish I could be at this cabin banging all these old dads
That moment when I wear the same thing I did to a motel nooner to my family's Christmas party... Ho Hoety Ho bitches
Maybe because you rubbed my clit while we were making churros
If anything I look like a soccor mom going out for her annual ladies night. Trying hard, but not quite in her twenty's anymore.
I literally just ordered a gold medal online that is engraved with his name, "01.01.16", and "BEST SEX EVER"
How am I supposed to buy weed and pancake mix when it's raining?
I just left and he walked me out and went call me if you're ever... Eh... Whatever. And walked away.
11:30 you texted me saying he was on his way. 11:37 you said, "Oh my God that was terrible."
It's almost like he's actually taking my commentary and criticism to heart, but simultaneously succumbing to some primal urge to wear less clothing each time.
A reply to my tweet is getting more likes than mine, the disrespect is real
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