tequila makes my crab dance SOOOO much better
I forgot how ruthlessly advertising works on me when I'm high.
Dude.. I don’t care how hairy she is, you already left me at the bar, and now I have to find another fucking way home... NOW BE A MAN ABOUT IT!
They're all gay and their wifi network is named HOMOS. I want to live with these people.
It's like playing clue with my own life. I have to piece together what I did, where I was, how I did it, and who I did it to
She just did a bodyshot off herself. I don't care that it's only seven thirty, come pick her up.
people came up our fire escape and one had a cut on his leg and he was beautiful so i told him i was an emt and bandaged it with princess bandaids
I HOPE YOU ENJOY THIS VDIEPO BECAUSE I AMS ENDIONG A LOKT OF EFFORT RECORIDNG IT
I ONLY PARTIALLY KNOW WHAT YOU SAID. BUT I THINK I WILL LIKE IT.
I effort
Do I really need this much space in my mouth?
Are you already high?
I told him I was very thankful for what his country has done to my vagina and walked away.
But for real though. That weed tastes like the jolly laughter of Santa Claus.
Never underestimate the power of loudly proclaiming you want to make out with someone
Congrats on dating a convict, there's no fitbit badge for that one.
stupid neighbors doing stupid yard work with their stupid kids when i want to do drugs in the backyard
My New Year's resolution consists of less weekday hangovers, more sex, and more money.
Randomize
