his mom walked in while I was blowing him. he turned around in panic and accidentally punched me in the face. i have a black eye and only half the clothes i came here in. can you give me a ride?
man i wonder what i would be like if i had never started smoking weed
Found my little brother jerking off with a condom. he said he was "practicing"
OMG its one we used last night
Do you think the party boat will still go out if there is a hurricane?
If you want to borrow my flask for all future interviews as a good luck charm because your last one went so well with it in your suit pocket, just let me know
I threw all my money on the ground and said it was for homeless people and fell down the stairs
He never broke character while fucking me on the neighbor's lawn. I give him a 10 for his dedication to the British accent.
They were loudly fucking last night and there was way too much conversation involved. It wasn't even dirty talk, it was more like "your doing it wrong" talk
do you know how ratchet you have to be to get kicked out of a drag club on Halloween weekend??
That's why we don't trade sex for Taco Bell. It's called the dollar menu.
You told the entire smokers deck that you were blowing .08 now and anyone else willing later
So from zero to dumpster fire, how shitty do you feel this morning? I'm hovering somewhere around trainwreck.
I'm in the upstairs bathroom. I went to the bathroom after class and realized this is not a shit I want to have publicly. I ran home. We can go to lunch, just give me a min
Apparently last night I was doing back bends for the guy making my easy mac because clearly it wasn't easy enough for me.
I just got fed by 3 guys. I love my job.
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