i just googled 'classy porn'. high, low, i dunno i just got bored of cum shots.
I may have pooped in your shoe. or somewhere else in your closet. its unclear.
I know he gets bloody noses a lot...so that explains all the blood...but I'd say the condoms are definitely from a penis.
I just headbutted my cat because he was trying to eat my bacon.
I have a pocket in my purse that is just for condoms and cocktail swords. I feel like that speaks volumes about me as a person
I saw it and almost just was like "Ice breaker: your penis is massive" but I didn't.
Just had sex to Jesse & the Rippers. Can check that one off the bucket list.
That hot shower felt like it washed away all of my problems... Except being pregnant... Ps just found out I'm pregnant. Fuck.
We set around a table in a hotel room and he spoon fed Molly to everyone there... I felt sketch for sec but then... Oh well.
Now: to brush my teeth, put on my grandma slippers and earplugs, masturbate to 50 Shades and then PTFO
I just have to decide what I love more, food or dick.
My cat just smacked my blunt from my hand and then put her head in my hand. I don't know how to feel
I tried to bring you in when you passed out on the porch but all you said was that I "ruined your hope ands dreams of becoming an astronaut"
My neck feel like I've been sucking Goliath's dick.
There were a lot of gay moments in between the Strippers and coke
Randomize
