Life lesson: Don't ever put your penis in a crazy girl. Especially if she's married. And has a kid.
Found her laying down in a booth in iHop. She's a keeper.
the pharmacist hit on me as i picked up my herpes medecine. i think we found a winner.
ill be fine wheb you get back. I'm gunna do real world things like washing the dishes. having to perform serious tasks brings you down.
the fact that we had sex in the dining hall makes it seem so much more like home.
Her roomates have been scoring her hookups. I got 8.9, best of the week!
How do you tell someone who's buying a pregnancy test to have a nice day .... Like how
Wow. I feel like a bad friend. My fuckbuddy wished you a happy birthday before I did. The reality of that just hit me.
We'll find out our level of friendship after tonight. You'll be helping me move a body. My body.
I drank enough to tranq a steed. You really missed out
He doesn't deserve you. Your ass looks 8 times better than his face ever will. Wanna order pizza and watch porn?
I CLEANED MY BATHROOM FOR YOU!! betrayal
Fine I'll cuddle you but only for the purpose of trying to survive
Dick is the cure to depression. I'm almost positive. And cough syrup.
And he kept lifting up his shirt every few minutes to check if his nipples were still there
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