Is there some kind of disinfectant spray people use? Why would anyone want to eat ass??
i just ordered an al pacino with double mocha at starbucks.. i'm waiting to see how long it takes the chick to realize what i said.
Lol i'z typing this with my 962 nose
962=my?
Yeah.i
Seriously though, we're going to drink and watch Survivor first one to puke gets voted off the island
Just met a female bro. Things are weird at the rugby party.
What do you mean when you say no pre-party sex?
I'm cooking a can of baked beans on the baseboard heater. It is too early in the semester to be this poor.
I hurt. I blacked out in a onesie. Reevaluation needs to happen.
dude, I feel like I need to get my gf's roommate a gift. something that says, sorry you walked in on me getting blown. suggestions?
remember how i yelled at you for inviting that coke dealer to the party?! i found the $100 bill they were snorting with in the couch.
..new slutty dresses or booze? i won't even waste time with the i told you so.
That's totally the Emoji for "just ran into some girl who knows I know she had an abortion"
I just recorded myself pooping, then uploaded to google drive, then connected to my pc through teamviewer then downloaded it, then played it to the living room while still pooping. God I love the internet.
I was so high the sounds of a cricket drove me out of my home at 4am.... Boo that fucking cricket
I could hear it slapping against his thighs under the robe!!!!!!!!! You are a lucky girl!
What you have to understand is that our lives aren't a disappointment so much as they crashed and burned with lethal doses of radiation and dog shit.
Randomize
