Did you draw a mustache on my drivers license picture??
grilled cheese. we just shotgunned grilled cheese.
Watching intervention at a bar. Who let this happen??
It's what America was founded on: former hookups referring you for a job four years later.
Precisely. She's an awesome drinking companion; yet, not so awesome mother-in-law material.
I need a therapist, but moreover we are going to be really drunk.
The best part about drinking boxed wine is you can blow up the bag and use it as a pillow
SHUT UP I CAN'T HEAR YOU OVER THE SOUND OF UKULELE AND LONLINESS
But break dance skills will only take you so far
I'd like to thank you for ensuring I didn't die. Id also like to show you the most impressive bruise you will perhaps ever see
About 98% sure I just walked by some dude jerking it in the library. I'm guessing his college experience isn't going as planned
Whats a little naked between friends. Just don't laugh or I'll be scared for life.
So you're not gonna be in town tonight?! Your dick was the light at the end of my academic tunnel!
In my defense I didn't know there was concrete on the other side of that fence when I tossed him over it.
You're both fucking idiots and this is why I should never let you two drink alone.
Im 76 percent sure I took a fully clothed shower last night.
Randomize