It looked like if robin williams had a vagina
I ate a lot of your sunchips. I mean a lot. Like 4 to 5 bags.
I told him he was my first gentile. He was so flattered.
I made a drinking game out of watching your DUI video, everytime you say " okay, well thats just your opinion"
Your one and only job is to make sure I am on that bus tomorrow morning with no cat makeup on my face
Margaritas are 250 calories. Now measuring all food in margaritas
i've officially fucked a sailor, a policeman and a biker. I've never noticed my Village People fetish until now...
Her exstacy made her nickname everyone David. Nobody knows who the fuck she's talking to so we just say no to everything she says. She's crying.
She kept saying the tortilla understood her. I honestly don't know where she found a tortilla at the pool.
It's not a good hook up if during you're thinking "how will this damage me psychologically"
You aren't going to like my movie choice because it's a Disney movie, but I am cordially inviting you to the couch for blowjobs.
trust me. coming from a bonafide dirtbag, this dude is up to shady shit
It's like Jesus got stoned and this would be the sandwiches he'd make
She's relieving herself in the laundry room. I'm really hoping there's a toilet in there...
Oh you mean the girl that gave me a black eye when I told her I liked her fake eyelashes?
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