Is it bad that my booty call's snoring was more interesting than the sex we had last night?
Rocking a Headband at the strip club, because of Rock of Love this shit is like their kryptonite, I smell like stripper butter and back child support.
so he expects you to be his vegas whore for the season. nice.
Asian chick on skype stripping for me. Hold on give few min
It's like sleeping with someone you met at a karaoke bar. It's never okay.
I heard you threw up in your lap?
I heard that too.
Tostitos scoops are the best shotglasses ever. Eat it after as a chaser.
I found him crying and drunk, in my closet holding a picture of Tyler Perry. He managed to say"he's just so many people"
Let's turn this shoulder dislocation into a positive. Come to the hospital, bring some beers, let's party.
He was standing in the front door with a kareoke machine yelling at the neighbors as the unloaded their van
Exactly, finding that perfect flask to come with you on all your adventures is like finding the perfect wedding dress. You have to feel it.
All I know is that either you or I told a black guy that he looked like usher and he was sexy and that is our confession
I think i'm going to homewreck at this Disney on Ice show.
jusy threw up in the airport bathroom. I am no longer thankful for fireball.
Still drunk. lying on the floor just rubbing my cats nipples
Randomize
