the "happy anniversary" cake for my mom and dad is about to turn into the "yeah, that's a hickey, welcome back from italy" cake.
I wish life was like dora the explorer where dancing pigs appear out of nowhere to solve your problems for you
I just experienced a full blown christian wedding. I am SO GLAD YOUR WEDDING WASNT THIS.
I convinced a girl to do a shot of salsa someone fell through the whole on the porch and Sara swallowed a beer tab
I just found her phone in the quesadilla maker...
we hooked up. but it was that weird mix of getting naked and watching Balto that made it so awesome.
Just bought koolaid for my vodka in a DARE shirt with my NES wallet. I'm everything I thought I'd be when I was 8.
Except even better, boobs get discounts.
Just thought you should know, Im with josh now. Im no longer available for rent. I have a full time tenant now. Like, a year long lease at least.
Just watched a girl fall down the stair and be to drunk to get up. The only stair in the bar. It's like watching a turtle on it's back.
I was carrying around a bottle of Jameson yelling rescue me
He took me home and by the time I woke up after catching up on sleep I realized I accidentally put on one of his fiances socks. whoops.
I'm eating pizza in the bathtub
I thought I came here to hook up, not for a Study Abroad 101 session
the insurance claim form from last night says foreign object removal from genitourinary tract so as far as the insurance company knows, it could have been a gerbil
It's a weird kind of sexy when a guy has a bunkbed with his roommate
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