I'm in your bed right now
Okay meet you there give me 10
Don't think you can make me leave either
Give me ten I ha e to be ******'s wingman I want you
How is it? Sketchville?
cheap drinks and peanuts cancel out any form of sketchiness
Dude, I woke up in the middle of the night and your room mate was just standing there at the foot of the bed, watching us sleep.. you don't remember me shaking the shit out of you to tell you this?!
This could explain the reason why I've been finding his clothing and keys scattered in random parts of my room..
AND THIS DOESN'T WORRY YOU?!
now i know why i became what i already was.
hes 24 and dating a highschool junior and keeps saying how happy he is. happy about what? her ACT score??
I just googled maps his house, and took the virtual tour back to my apartment, just so I could visualize the walk of shame in the morning
We pinky-swore to never fuck each other again.
Don't freak out about the couches in the driveway. We tried to unpack the uhaul drunk.
You asked him for a membership to him and his dick.
N.C. cops just used a megaphone to tell me I have a slutty outfit. My life is complete.
got a blowjob in the bar bathroom, got arrested for public intoxication, and found a big bag of weed on the ground on my walk home from the station. my friday night could have been a movie
but, alas, I am not the lady in the streets. I'm simply the freak in the sheets.
This guy wants me to put ice under his foreskin. What!?
no real plans this weekend. trying to derail the alcohol induced fucking hell train I've been riding for the past three weeks.
This pandemic, it’s making everyone horny. I’ve got dick stashed all over town
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