Heybabeimwearingurpanties
I can't get into him, he looks really young. I'd feel like I was blowing the Gerber baby.
She fell onto my light and broke all four plants. I don't care how good the blowjob was.
There's three frat guys comparing how you were in bed. apparently you have gotten worse with time
Was the mom I hooked up with decently attractive I feel like her two friends were hotter
But mostly the blowjob in the airport bathroom was what I was laughing at.
I saw a crackhead in a ballerina outfit riding a bike while waving her hands and one leg in the air. Never seen such talent in my life
you're no funn. i shall go consult my friend vodka on this matter.
You kept hiding under tables and grabbing people's legs and shouting SHARK ATTACK.
I woke up completely naked with the exception of my leg warmers. Last night must have been interesting.
My condom drawer is now filled with W-2s and tax return documents. Is this adulting?
Married dude I had an affair with 10yrs ago was at table next to us at dinner last nite. My mom asked him to take a pic of us & then commented how cute he was as they left. Do I tell her he’s got a huge D too?
she was sitting with her tits completely out.. on the kitchen floor..eating pickles by the handful... rapping mac dre... and then lit up a cig and continued...that drunk
She was gone when I unblacked out, but she had nailed her panties to the wall and wrote “Colleen’s Dick”with a sharpie on the wall. No idea where she got a hammer and nail
I don't know if I'm having early flu symptoms, a miscarriage, or am badly hungover. Web md agrees.
Randomize
