My dream in life is to scissor with Ellen. I don't care if I've got a dick. I'll make it work.
i have your red jacket for some reason. and a good deal of shame and embarasment. note to self, wear underwear when you wear a dress. also, i was electrocuted last night. dont ask how.
I love the "adulterer" look on you. It's hot.
Its part of my fall instant classic line.
Can we fast forward to the part where we get gyros
I can't believe he would be such an ass
Your boobs are way too big for you to be worrying about anything.
On a positive note, new entry in my phone as 'HOT ASS, DOWN TO FUCK'. idk if its a boy or girl tho.
Update, its a couple
you smelled like vodka, i think that's why my grandma liked you
He's got a southern drawl and a lisp. I'm getting mindfucked right now.
After I gave him a handjob for a half an hour he told me I should be a taxidermist. I'm gonna take it as a compliment.
There's cake. And donuts. And strippers. It's like 5 year old me and 20 year old me are throwing a party together...
What did he say? I couldn't hear him over the sound of how awesome his beard is.
Want to FaceTime and watch me finish this bagel?
No just a slight sexual miscommunication which led to a little (lot) vomiting by one party and a bruised sternum on the other party involved.
I can't even make a guess how that goes.
Got high again and all I want to do is wave this flag around
That makes sense.. A good Bj is a trump card in any argument
Randomize
