Holy cold harsh reality of sobriety batman
she came over and started getting naked and said its not like i came over to just hang out
youve hit the jackpot
God. I look like such a fucking stand up guy wearing polo shirts. You would totally trust me not to date rape you.
this is the 21st century. you drunk fuck him and then go on a date.
I sleep with the gay men, they no longer have questions about their sexuality. No strings attached at it's finest and i get new shopping buddies out if it. It really is a win win situation.
You are my idol.
He gave me a hug and said "He doesn't deserve you, Anna. Your boobs are great, and I'd fuck you anytime. Any. Place." I need a new 'gay' friend.
We just started the day with vitamin bombs. Daily vitamin + whatever's left in your glass from last night = feel like a champion
I just can't deal with that sentence
You didn't even properly utilize my pigtails.
I fucked a guy that's in Sports illustrated. I'm officially ready for college.
I think the last straw was when you put on ice skates to go across the waxed wooden floor.
Monday afternoon and I'm still hungover from Valentine's Day. I think I'm winning at the single life.
I got with a bridesmaid and a server as well as put an $80 tab in rum and coke under the name Emerson Iglesias. Are you sure it wasn't my wedding?
Dude, someone puked in my washing machine last night, I tried turning it on to clean it...not a good idea
The frequency with which I change my vibrator batteries is getting a little ridiculous....
I cant believe you bit her ass cheek, she must have been really weirded out.
yeah so we made out to make it less awkward
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