I just googled how to quit your job and cause a big uproar at the same time....i tell you how tomorrow goes, i'm so excited....
he then started listing things that have been up his butt, never drinking in boys town again
You text me last night that you invented a new food. Cheese-less grilled cheese. Congrats, you made toast.
what if his mom answers? its like high school, but hes 30
You know, there is no convenient place for your beer when you are on shrooms taking a shower.
He managed to scream "cowabunga bitch" before he went down on me. Let me know if you still like him.
Don't remember shit. It was only until I saw the glaze on my forearm that I knew you drove to get donuts last night. I also spent 20$ there apparently
she tried to douche with champagne. in front of all of us. unabashedly.
Missing part of a tooth cos I tried to open a beer with my teeth, just saw a dude that looked like bill Cosby though so things are looking up
Bacon Cheddar rum burgers are as great as they sound. I knew that 100 proof Captain would be good for something other than vomit.
Is it bad that I recognize every dick in your dic pic collection?
Btw when I was saying "fuck you" I meant it like "be quiet beautiful princess"
I know I swore I wouldn't go home with him, but he whispered that he had taquitos and you know how much drunk me loves taquitos.
I just woke up and I don't really remember anything past 1pm. How much am I missing?
A good 10-11 hours. You got laid twice. Also, you out-ran a cop and played football with a lamp.
I just tried to lit a bowl with my chapstick.
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