He sat on a barstool and did the robot for 3 hours - I'm pretty sure he enjoyed himself.
Give me a heads up the next time you BBM me a voicenote of you cumming so I'll make sure not to play it while in the car with my parents. Miss you too.
It's almost like sex with her has gotten boring... like it's still good, but the creativity is lacking... it's times like these that i wish she still wanted me to gag her
As long as you don't die I'm in full support of your drinking decisions
Am I allowed to say that I would really enjoy blowing you again? Or does that fall into the "nothing changes between us" catagory?
do you know how much drugs we can buy now that you got that raise at work
It's my 3rd annual 21st birthday party. Disney themed. There will be blood.
Yeah, you're right, it's a conspiracy against you. This small tight knit group of people who don't like assholes.
I'll be there in spirit. Right there in your vagina.
They're either celebrating their tax money or trying to kill each other.
Whip out the absinthe and the taquitos, this motherfucker just passed the bar.
Of all the things I've masturbated to while high, my favorites are ritz chips and trees
Just had a med school interview with that doctor I fucked in college. He remembered. Asked if I still have my nipple rings. Overall, I think it went well.
You weren't stupid you just made an ass of yourself. It's called a birthday party. That's code for night of regrets.
I don't think getting eaten out in a smart car behind a circle-k on my break by a guy I just met classifies as social distancing, but I'm beginning to love night shift more and more.
Randomize
