I'm just looking at Lindsay Lohan's vagina.
Oh yea! I was just doing that too!
and then I told him he looked like the Gordon's Fisherman dude. I don't think he thought it was funny, because he 'forgot' to pay for my beer.
Found an earplug stuck to the inside of my thigh this afternoon. Just how much noise were we making?
No vaginas are yucky and I don't think you're old enough to handle one yet
Don't worry we didnt bang. Sometimes I just bring guys home so I don't order pizza.
Chicken salad taco, you know, when you're out of bread and crackers, and high.
Its a good night to get drunk in my onesie.
Why is there a condom in the dishwasher...
Wanna smoke some ancient weed I just found in a box of cake mix?
I feel like drug tests are a little less "random" when you are employed by your father.
Are you still free tonight?
Oh shit I kinda forgot and took acid
If I learned anything from that one time I saw the last 10 minutes of oprah when they talked about the secret, it is that you project what you receive back. I also have wine.
Tomorrow has nothing to do with the threesome
I am the one with the vagina. I get to call it.
The party pretty much ended once she shit on the couch
Why did you buy a cock ring?
I’m going to propose to his penis
Randomize
