I was just walking through Burbank and saw a hobo using solar panels on his shopping cart. We must be in trouble if the hobos are researching alternative sources of fuel...
my drunk uncle just explained that turkeys are not gentle lovers... and no context doesn't make it better.
whenever I think of his sister, I just picture a chick with a huge beard
nothing like celebrating the fact that you're not a father by trying to impregnate other women
I'm going to leave the fate of whether I go to my midterms up to my dealer hitting me up or not
I was masturbating in my bed this morning when my ipod alarm went off and it started playing "show me the meaning of being lonely"
they sound like some classy girls.
Hey, I don't give them daddy issues, I just take advantage of it. The real bad guy here is American parenting.
She sprained her ankle last night trying to flash me.
Guess who just got a Christian Beliefs class to seriously discuss the spiritual implications of dolphin rape?
Just remember, Dont make worse choices than american flag pants to your own birthday party
Yo. What's your name again? You put "don't tell your landlord" as your name lol
Didn't know where your dishes went. Put em in the bathtub. They're stacked taller than you. It's like modern art.
now to finish some work and then i think i'll work out. or garden. or at the very least I'll continue eating frozen grapes and take more drugs
Anne is dead. totally passed out and was flat out in the street
You kept licking me last night.... and said I tasted like jello. Next time, lay off the jello shots, okay?
Randomize
