This is a mass text. Does anyone know where I am?
The bartender just started bringing me gin and tonic in a pint glass to save himself trips...
was it good sex?
i mean it was good for how drunk we were. and for how big the closet was
His bootycalls folder in his contacts are divided into regions, we should have all become airline pilots.
guess who's bored in chemistry researching how to sneak weed through airport security in her vagina?
I just brushed my teeth. In the car. With watered down Sprite. From Saturday. Multi-tasking at its finest.
yeah...that's gonna come up in court
I rocked my own world, he was just a prop.
we got kicked out of her coke dealer's house when we wouldn't stop quoting "a league of their own"
communist
Blow job season was short but glorious.
I just shit my bed. Go ahead and make your 40 year old incontinence jokes now.
Fire trucks are here again. It wasn't me this time.
Fall is here I will miss walking downtown in nothing but paint and pasties
You made noises. And kept meowing. I have a twenty minute phone call to prove it.
I'm in the upstairs bathroom. I went to the bathroom after class and realized this is not a shit I want to have publicly. I ran home. We can go to lunch, just give me a min
Randomize
