There's a group of australian girls next to me. can't take them seriously. think they are going to turn into mr g
Only girl at that party wearing a fake beard and I STILL get laid...
there is no 'pace myself' on the blackout express
we decided to do a scavenge hunt for ourself for when we walked back to our apartments. We hid taco bell behind some bushes. I think they are still good.
Hm, finding a time when my drinking and your real life don't conflict could be difficult
She said I told her "I'm to drunk to take your bra off." then she said I walked out completely naked to go watch tv.
I need like a hormone stopper. Or a chastity belt. Or like a lady business alarm that goes off when I'm being too drunk.
My 16 year old neighbor is throwing a rager cuz her parents are out of town and my brother and I are sitting on the porch listening to A) someone fuck on the trampoline B) a girl bawling about her parents finding out C) someone puking in what we think is the hot tub. And overall we take a shot everytime someone says "bra"
I didn't even realize I grinded on a security guard last night. Shit. Did he at least like it?
he thought it would be funny to put his dick inside a beer bottle and wear it around. until we all realized how small his dick would have to be to fit in a beer bottle
I woke up with my vibrator in my bed so I'm assuming I had a decent night.
My ex just brought my grandpa weed. Not sure how I feel about this.
Just saw a hotel with a bunch of mattresses in the parking lot. Made me think of you.
I had to ask her to let go of my cock this morning so I could go home. She just kept saying "no, please, no..."
Can you dump a guy for having pierced nipples or is that shallow?
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