Aj just asked if we were going to the bulldog tonight..i told her no because of the expense and tests coming up..but mostly because i don't want herpes
Let's get naked and see who's stronger.
Was just hit on by a guy with 2 kids and one was named Rocky. I need to get out of Buena Park.
walking on gravel proved too much for her barefeet so she traded her bra for some guys sneakers.
I've been at work for less than an hour and have pooped twice already. That's what happens when you start sleeping with your roommate and don't want to use the bathroom at home anymore.
People were autographing me. I'm like the spring break yearbook
He woke up screaming about pickles. I think it's gonna be a good day.
I got used. This is the happiest day of my life. I was just a huge cock and that is all she needed.
How did our waiter from olive garden end up passed out drunk in my roommate's bed?
I'm about to start putting my tampons in the microwave for a few seconds these plastics applicators and this weather don't mix
So... Really random... You know we only exist cause Dad misspelled 'perseverance', right?
I have stickers all over my boobs and a lump the size of china on my forehead. today has not been good.
Yeah, this is not that. This is a father and son bonding moment involving my all of my orifices.
Let's drink lean at the 5 seconds of summer concert. Give the teens a glimpse into their future as dysfunctional adults holding desperately onto their youth. You in?
I don't want to date him...I just want him to cheat on his girlfriend with me.
Randomize
