soooo.. i guess the cop said he'd drop the charges if i go to some AA meetings and i said fuck AA. not one of my better choices.
My cousin just asked what abortion is. Happy Holidays.
Everything smells like syrup. But I guess that's better than last time when everything smelled like beer.
Dont even try and act like it wasn't you who made the sex tape of my dogs.
I knew his night was already over when he started marking lines on the bottle and setting goals
you went all the way to UK and still managed to hook up with someone from our highschool...
having someone tell me to "prepare my vagina" is not really something I want to hear..
Her Grandmother felt me up AND paid for dinner. If she doesn't get her shit together I'm gonna be her Step Grandfather.
He simply fell in the fire, rolled out and continued to finish his bottle of vodka. Everyone else instantly sobered up just watching it.
I used to think not drinking while I was pregnant was not gonna be a problem, but I now I'm like shit that's a long time
Walking down the street, Bro bumping to 'still' by dre. Dropped his trash on the ground and aggressively sped up when his light turned green. If you still had love for the streets you wouldn't of fucking littered. Took everything for me not to yell at him. I know you would've.
Dude, I'm trippin balls. For real, I thought this bag on my floor was my dog for the longest time...
We did hand stuff while watching teenage mutant ninja turtles so I guess you could say it's getting serious
My roommate wasn't home and I was too drunk and tired so I peed in the trash can. Twice.
We walked into the RA's room and he said "is that alcohol" and I screamed "IT'S WATER" and ran out and Vanessa slammed the door and started making out with him.
Randomize
