she handed me her phone while she blew me and told me to text her bf that she was at the store
I mean, I'd wanted to go skinny dipping, hook up with him and have sex on a beach, so last night I basically killed 3 birds with one super slutty stone.
So currently I have a block of cheese duct taped to my air conditioner in lieu of a fridge.
this cock blocking thing really has to end bro...its one thing to tell jen i live with my mom.. its another to cut the brakes on my car..
in the middle of fucking he asked me if i had gotten a haircut because he noticed i didnt have split ends anymore. i dont know what to think
I should've been more social I guess. I feel bad not meeting the people who willingly sucked alcohol out of my navel...
Don't forget ur talking to the master juggler. Remember that time I slept with 3 guys and made them all pay for plan b? Paid the rent didn't I?
I was going to say I needed the exercise but now all I can think about is BJs
My work here is done
You were all "think outside the box, inside the bag!" as you filled your camelback with beer.
I cunt my lip shaving. That's not a typo, it's a placement clue
I still have your make up all over the inside of my thighs from the face sitting. Free tonight?
Downloaded the Pocket Penguin app. There are now penguins living in my phone. Technology is wonderful.
Between fucking and sleeping I woke up missing four out of five of the earrings I was wearing. It's like a star rating system. I had to give him props.
dude you pointed at my dad's crotch and said I'd tap that. I didn't even know you were gay.
let me assure you that a rugburn on your forehead is the worst side effect of tequila i have experienced to date.
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