why did i wake up to an event notice that says "Shit Just Got Real"?
susan atkins died, charles manson's lady
dont cry, there are other serial killers to crush on.
he told us the story of how he fought ketchup, mustard, and thomas the train engine all in one night. if that doesn't sound like an acid trip i dont know what does.
Just threw up in my seat during the national anthem. Probably not good.
I just banged your sister. Thats what you get for takibg my lunch money in 2 grade, boom, boom fiyyaa powaa
That would be a dream come true. Seriously, he's like my mount everest, my life's ambition is to climb him.
A man that refers to my vagina in third person is a man after my own heart.
OPIZZABONMYDICK
I guess crabs is what I get for sleeping with my ex.
If you can get her to make out with you without paying for it, I will personally make you president of the american lesbian league
Just cried watching Wimbledon, worst comedown ever.
I mean I could but due to my age and being a mother and all I feel it's poor judgment to give fellatio in a public establishment.
That was years ago. And it was chlamydia.
Happy 4 year arrest-aversary! I promise no thanksgiving has been as eventful as that one haha..
Does the girl you just banged want anything from Taco Bell?
Randomize
