dude u gotta turn down the techno when u bang that chick its creepy
WORST DINGLEBERRY EVER
ugly people sure do ruin things
After 10 years all I have gotten is one bra pic, at this point I should be able to draw your cervix from memory
she's walking down the hall in a thong and one flip flop and one ugg
He has to watch his girlfriends kitten. Even when she is in Vegas, her pussy keeps him from getting into mine.
I traded the garbage men the rest of my handle for a ride home. Best. Walk. Of. Shame. Ever.
Well... When your girlfriend fucks your sister, the 2 week courtesy window goes out the door.
last night we stole an a/c window unit from a frat. gonna be a great summer
My roommate has gone Christmas crazy. It looks like Jack Frost came all over my living room. Wanna come fuck me in the fake snow by the fireplace?
Running late for a date because I couldn't get my clothes out from under the dude I spent the night with in time to leave when I planned. This is my life.
So we stayed at his mom's and all got drunk and he and I hooked up in his old bedroom. Then his drunk mom came in and tackled us when we were still naked. Why does this keep happening to me?
Walking into class right now and I swear to god I smoked down the substitute teacher we have at a party I went to last week
I got so high that I ate a protein bar while in the shower. I then proceeded to leave half the protein bar and the wrapper on the ledge in my shower. Haha oh well.
I woke up and couldn't find her. She had somehow managed to get into the closet and lock herself in. She was crying for her boyfriend. Thirsty Thursday at its finest
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