Well, she's an atheist who is addicted to the Sims.
Who isn't?
This just in: Jon Gosselin's address-The Alexandra. I bet if we showed up he'd date us.
I don't think cute and don't forget to get tested belong in the same text
I just witnessed two drunk midgets fighting over a graham cracker. I can die happy now.
there are ass prints on the hood of my car.
You probably don't remember. You were drunk and getting your tits drummed on like haitian bongos in a voodoo ritual.
I kind of drew a blank when the doctor asked me how I got super glue up my nose.
if you are still a virgin by winter break we are throwing an aztec themed sacrifice the virgin party
I am on a roof. I'm not sure which one, or why, or how, but I am on a roof and you should come get me. I can see info classrooms!
She seems less like a roommate, and more like a homeless person who snuck into your apartment.
Tried to make hash outta one of those keurig machines. I don't know why. Maybe the drunkenness, but now I have mushy bud and no ganja
I'm sitting in Starbucks, waiting for direction in my life, or it to be 8 p.m. Whatever comes first.
Ugh a 13 year old just asked me why people drink, I had to explain it without making it sound good. I need a drink.
the last thing I remember is taking a pull of ever clear and chasing it with vodka
Well we found Mark's missing underwear. They're pinned up on Mike's trophy wall.
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