Why do my orgasm prompt her to begin using babytalk EVERYTIME?!
he aplogized for the shitty sex and called me "ma'am" when he did it. And he wants redemption sex. Gah I love southern gentlemen.
Thought I woke up to a girl giving me a handy. It was a male nurse inserting a catheter.
This escort grabbed my boyfriends ass and it became clear, he fucked pretty much anything he could find prior to dating me.
If i ever have a kid with an outie i'm giving it up for adoption
I AM OBSESSED WITH PORCHES. YOU ARE OBSESSED WITH PORCHES. HOW IS THIS REAL?
Yeah i was handcuffed to the bed all night but i actually slept like a baby
I told her I didn't have a condom. She then sized me with her thumb and finger and tossed me a large. Then I asked her to marry me.
Our first order of business as new roommates was to test the sex acoustics of our rooms. I need a new box spring.
She ran from her surprise party screaming "I'm not ready for an intervention." Yeah, the girl has a problem.
My favorite part of you downing a fifth of fireball in my apartment by yourself is the shot glass in the sink. It's like you attempted moderation and were just like "Fuck this."
He came inside and met my grandmother after we had sex in the driveway. I love that he has a van.
idk i just feel really unsatisfied. like something's missing from my life... maybe it's chicken nuggets...
Omg cinnamon bun Oreos. Thanks weed
I was giving you head in the kitchen, and when I looked up you were eating a quesadilla.
Randomize
