when does round two start
I don't know, I gave up bartenders for lent
I think I won the penis lottery.
Did you see the soccer ref give that girl the red card as she was being kicked out of the party?
If someone cleans their bathroom and shaves their crotch for you you kinda have to admit the relationship to facebook
Your my favorite hello and hardest goodbye.
And I especially mean that last part, half the time you pass out somewhere and it is impossible to get you to leave.
im just glad that if you were going to have awkward hospital sex, you would want it with me
Wednesday. Otherwise known, to you at least, as "there are two gay men in my bed" day.
You are the only person I know that goes to a bar enough to charge your iPhone there....
Yes but from my experience being high around your own baby makes you feel like the worst kind of mom
I'm almost positive that you shat in a birdhouse
Your resume just got faxed, I also modified it a bit and sent it to strip clubs...expect weird phone calls...
I can't help that I bring out the sex in people
She asked how comfortable I was with her while we were in the shower. She then proceeded to pee in said shower.
Was make out with a 38 year old lesbian on our bucket list? if it was you can go ahead and cross that one off.
Stop saving videos when you’re using my pornhub account!!! My girlfriend just tried to finger my butt because she thinks I’m into that
Randomize
