Also I am about to cut a ringtone from "Sex Machine" so James Brown can tell me to "get up, get on up" in the morning
I once woke up to the scream from 'get up offa that thing' and smacked my head on my desk
Just wondering did you put mouse traps and brownies on my porch?
This is the first time since last march I'm gonna be going to a class for more reasons than wanting to bone the girl sitting next to me.
just had to explain to the health center why i wanted 50 condoms a month.
It's never too late to be topless.
I'm cheerleading for traffic. people are staring. Why am i the only high person on the way to class?
You were sitting in the tub, clothed, squirting my KY all over yourself. You said "it's warm." then passed out.
I asked you if you needed a ride and you kept saying "no, my name is katelyn"
Someone just knocked jenga into a plate of cake. I'm licking off each piece one by one.
I just won 200$ from Bar Karaoke, for singing the "Sailor Moon" theme song, and then the Pokemon theme song, also known as the motherfucking ANTHEM OF POKEMON MASTERS LIKE ME. I HAD TO REPRESENT.
You are cordially invited to the annual finals week stress relief drinking binge at our manor this evening
I mean she did throw a tantrum because you wouldn't let her suck your dick
i just got hit by a door and im the one that said im sorry, yeah im drunk.
this vacation is helping with my sexual bucket list so much. threesome, deaf guy, and outdoor sex all accomplished.
you've already made the comitment to pee in public you should at least whip your dick out
Randomize
