I assume you are not resopnding because you are having sex thus i give you a text message high five
i'm not the one sitting naked in my room playing with my boobs and a cat.
The foreigner finally woke up and the first thing he did was look up a map of the u.s. His destination is to pennsylvania.
The last thing I remember is pushing my way into the bathroom and dumping a 40 on him. We havent talked since.
the thought 'we cant do it, we're in a public place' crossed my mind, and then I realized he's succeeding if he's trying to domesticate me.
elevator sex. pronto.
Dear Derek. I would like to offer my sincerest apology for the 2 to 6 text messages you are about to read. Also for the 15 minute voicemail, which may or may not have sent. Sincerely, Sober Katie
It was actually pretty good. His cock is as fat as the rest of him and I took out my contacts so I couldn't see him clearly.
Send me the picture of my mugshot, my boss got arrested last night and I'm trying to make her feel better.
I was trying to chase her off the carpet, but now there are figure-eights of cat vomit. everywhere
She was just a sweet cute intern for us until I saw her naked in my bed the day after the Christmas party
Why is there uncooked bacon under my bed?
You insisted on taking it to bed with you. You grabbed it out of the fridge while mumbling "If I leave this out, you fuckers are just going to ruin it."
I feel like im becoming the girl who only drunk texts him. I would be in the dog house, if situations like this had dog houses.
Took three klonopin and turned all my jeans into jorts. I miss you
I just took the batteries out of the xbox remote so she could replace the dead ones in her vibrator If that's not love I don't know what is
FIVE TIMES AND I HAVENT GOTTEN OFF ONCE
literally yelled NOOOO right before he finished .. yelled “five times and I still haven’t gotten off” when he was still inside me ..
Said “don’t worry I’ll get myself off tomorrow” to top it all off
Randomize