Okay you're seriously so fucking annoying its like having a baby
i really wish facebook had an app for when you are looking at a chick's photo album, you could just skip to the ones where she and/or her friends are dressed like skanks
When we ran out of red solo cups we switched to Starbucks cups for beer pong... Who doesn't want to live in Seattle?
It's like God knew that was my ex's best friend and punished me. I've never vomited that much in my life.
the last time i saw him was an hour he was floating face down in a pool... but i'm sure he's fine.
Either I put my underwear on inside out and wore it like that all day, or I had sex with him. Its sad I have to guess.
karaoke mosh pit has descended into fisticuffs, send backup
P.S. I just watched The Muppets. I feel like I just got a sadness enema.
A sandwich with pizza as the bread. I love you.
YES WITH THE SQUARE KIND OF SLICES
A cute girl just told me she forgot to take her birth control and winked... I've never been so conflicted about fleeing in terror
Life's too short to be sucking dicks in cars for the rest of my life.
Any time you've had a failed relationship, I blast No Sex for Ben by The Rapture and dance around my room. I wish I was joking.
Sneaking the vodka in was the easy part.. listening to medley of puking in the porta pottys was not
Well I may have gotten laid but I over drafted buying pizza so I think that negates everything
I did what i always do when i miss him; masturbate and watch Bridges of Madison County.
Randomize
