There is a such thing as a wonderpuss octopus. Officially my new favorite animal.
Just heard the new 'We are the world' ... Can I get my 10 bucks for Haiti back?
I don't remember much but I know I looked hot.
you know u lost to a carboard cut out of sammy sosa in beer pong last night.
Pretty sure God shed a tear when I put 15 singles in the collection plate.
Can we get blazed at 9:06 on sunday and reenact the moment of my birth?
I get to be your mom.
We were just talking bout putting on helmets and going fo a car ride just to see how ppl react. I will def fit in here haha
I did nothing besides stay sober all night, I walked home to find max naked knocking cups off the counter with his cock lol
let's just say if he has a penis and he hypothetically needs to put it somewhere... i would take care of that for him.
Well... first you killed the girls goldfish, then you shoved her face in your armpit, made her cry, got kicked out, ate your cigarettes, and passed out in her driveway. Pretty successful night if you ask me
DICK PUNCH EXTRAVAGANZAAAAAA!!!!!
If we don't rescue him from the fat chick soon, she is going to eat him alive and suck the marrow from his bones.
I just used my citation as a bookmark. Want a beer?
I got wine drunk and bought a hedgehog
K. The dog and I are outside. The Uber driver said "I hope he fucks the shit out of you"
Randomize
