I love hooters. This dumb bartender is saying how coffee dehydrates you so that's why she sometimes just eats the coffee grinds wake up.
About tomorrow. if it dosent fit dont force it. Just pushit as far as you can and i'll wiggle the rest of the way
Do you remember last night at all? Be honest
I need to look at the pictures on my camera to fill in the gaps.
Last night my friend tried to make out with me in an olive garden. Ahahah
Nothing says 'I love you' like never ending salad and breadsticks
Lost is over, my longest committed relationship is coming to an end.
I'm voting my liver organ of the month. The award ceremony is next weekend.
We found a swing set....it's in the front yard.
Pretty sure my body is in shock, I shouldn't feel this ok after last nite.
Girl, that was the lost night of 2012 for me and I have buried that night deep deep away..
Because the guy guy doing the drawing either wanted to bone, or wanted us to stop entering the contest. Either way, we got concert tickets so I'm cool with both scenarios.
You what they say. One dick in the hand is better than two in the bush
The contents of my fridge consist of alcohol, Nuva ring, and cheesecake. I'm that girl.
This is a long quiet interstate without somebody to sext.
I woke up upside down with my head in your ottoman and like a foot of space between the ottoman and chair.. My legs were straight up in the air... Yes. Your mother found me.
Who the fuck puts glitter on their vagina? It’s all over my face and crotch.
Randomize
