youll never guess who i didnt fuck at that party
He left the bathroom door open so i would hear him masturbate in the shower to make me feel guilty for not putting out but it just turned me on cause i like guys masturbating. weird?
12 garbage cans filled with water, a beer can floating in every garbage can, 20 ft. apart and you shoot with dodge balls..and thats only how the night began
she's walking down the hall in a thong and one flip flop and one ugg
My warmest regards to the fish in that koi pond I puked in.
The moment you ate chicken nuggets out of your purse you were my hero.
Where the hell did i get chicken nuggets from
There's a Russian guy here. In the bar. Drinking vodka. Wearing a trench coat and a hat and a mustache. Idk where the confusion is.
Honest to god.. She looks better fat. I never would have imagined those words coming out of my mouth, EVER.
Just got a blowjob from a coed in exchange for saving her an iPhone 5 when I get them in stock. Sometimes it's awesome to be a Verizon employee.
Just learned a valuable lesson today. Don't open snap chats from 3 am the next morning while sitting next to a small child. They totally saw your dick.
Idk... he wears anklets.. i dont think i can get past that.
Annoying and petty is the name of the game and I'm the MVP.
He chose me to be his birthday sex..theres a lot of pressure riding on this bang
Never. No amount of alcohol could convince my brain and eye sight that it is okay to fuck him. I'd rather fuck my cousin.
And by "sexually intimate," you mean fuck buddies?
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