so this rather large man keeps buying us drinks.......then he licked my face....i dont really care though because the drinks are good. Is this bad?
im pretty sure vibrators are the best invention since dinosaur chicken nuggets
you started whispering 'the itsy bitsy spider' while you were putting your hands up my shorts.
Word to the wise: do not smoke before going grocery shopping with only 12 bucks. So stressful.
I don't even want to talk about it, I'm traumatized. Even the dog knew to take advantage of the most intoxicated girl at the party...
I just headbutted my cat because he was trying to eat my bacon.
I've officially done it all, fucked a girl wearing a twister board. ABC parties are amazing!
I knew it would be an interesting night when he showed up at my house on a scooter wearing a six foot american flag as a cape.
We need to figure out what we are doing for halloween asap. I'm not going out like a punk ass bitch burger king again this year.
I feel like I grabbed someones dick last night, & if I didn't I'll be disappointed in myself
Can't wait to bequeath this flannel to my grandchildren someday.
'I've been using this to pick up lesbians since before you were born!'
I was drunk, he was taking a bodyshot while avoiding my piercing. I told him I loved him. He waited until I woke up with my hangover to say he loved me too. It was hangover magic.
If we all have the time, and the weather permits, and you have no plans, we should have another go at Operation Get Our Carless Friends Laid. All the lonely people will be out. We can take our lonely people out too.
So I pass out narcotics if its a girl?
I made him watch the first 5 episodes of Game of Thrones before I decided to sleep with him.
Randomize
