Turns out he's not gay. He just didn't know how else to say he's not into me. He just hit on my sister.
Free beer happened. I got hammered and aaron did his first keg stand. Then went all martha stewart on redecorating the bathroom. I remember being at walmart
What theme did he decide on for the bathroom?
Well as you know martha loves the northeast this time of year. I believe the theme was 'coney island' decorrated with hot dogs and macaroni
I have eleven tally marks and an infinity sign drawn on my wrist in permanent marker. Senior bar crawl stole my liver.
just took a shot of real whiskey... i forgot what it's like to drink liquor that costs more than twelve dollars.
i wont go near him until the smell goes away , and he takes the chex mix box off his head.
Oh. And what's the twitter protocol for following the guy you blew behind a shed?
she gave me head while i watched the '98 Rose Bowl on espn classic. Ryan Leaf really was a huge bust
Idk if you remember me telling you about him, but I gave him a hj under the stars. Kind of added a little disney aspect to the whole experience.
you guys just sat there and simultaneously smoked bowls staring at each other... it was like a bowl off or something.
We thought it was a good idea to send a picture to our HS science teacher where she's smoking a joint and I'm holding a monkey, and he invited us to lunch. NEW LEVEL UNLOCKED.
I can't. I'm not drunk enough for this information.
If I make it home without being sick in this captain's hat it will be a fucking miracle.
I think I've been there, but who knows? I drink a lot
You tried to use him as a battering ram. I'm 99% certain that's why he left.
Im pretty sure I didnt bang him becasue I woke up at 6am to him jerking off with a fleshlight right next to me in bed ... He made himself cum and was moaning my name ... MOST AKWARD EXPIERENCE OF MY LIFE
I'm "drunk text both siblings" drunk.
Randomize
