Idk. We dropped acid and Kevin ran away again. We didn't find him for like 3 hours.
Man I wish I had been there
Yah we found him in the pool shed of some elderly couple. They were on the porch watching all of the shenanigans. ...To be young again.
My new sobriety test is "how many times do I have to attempt to put toothpaste on my brush"... It takes a while.
You tried to wear your Jesus costume into Family Christian stores and say it was a book signing.
Yeah. We was talkin. Its ok. My bed is too filled with pam for sex. Its like a slip and slide of butter product.
I might not be able to enter cuba but that doesn't mean that a cuban can't enter me
She's the only person who can pull off turning an outdoor patio heater tower into a stripper pole.
Ordered a large pizza and definitely just paid the cab driver in pizza slices. I'm glad there's someone out there that's just as fat at heart as we are.
for breakfast I had vodka and flavor blasted goldfish. and I'm topless.
Right... Let's keep my vodka tinged mind focused on simple words
I'm sure you can think of a way to make money.. God didn't give you boobs that awesome to waste them feeding your children..
On Friday, can we drink like its Civil Wars times and the doctor's coming to saw off our gangreen infected legs?
I feel like the first time i have to use my accident insurance its going to be in some sex mishap with you.
Fuck it, i havent messed around in half a year. I have sexual tension with a fire hydrant.
So I've already made 5 bad decisions today, wyd?
so i put my jacket on last night that you wore last weekend, and reach inside the pockets and find them full of goldfish...
the snack that smiles back:)
Randomize
