I want to give you a handjob with my mouth.
hey babe thanks for tonight, it was fun.
to be honest, i wanna fuck your friend.
why did they invent bidet's? your butt gets clean when your poop falls in the toilet and splashes up anyway...
Little spoons don't ask big questions
Most fantastic sex ever until her Doberman took an interest in what we were doing. There was nothing more terrifying then feeling warm dog breath on my ballsack.
i dont mean to point any fingers but there is a lot of urine in the kitchen
talk of her extensive whoreness has crossed oceans. thats impressive.
You kicked in the door when she was blowing him. You dont remember do you?
Your "OraGel will numb anything" theory was the worst thing I ever believed in.
They left at like 4. I got up to help clean their house this morning and we found his pants. No ones heard from him, we're all a little scared.
You were, but he disappeared after you said you wanted him to get you pregnant so you'd have a child by the time the Boy Meets World sequel starts
Let's get weird.
It's 10 am...
I'm assuming that means you're not busy...
I slept with the Australian in the bathroom of a gay bar. What has my life become.
I am naked, and drinking straight gin with a flat tonic chaser. I had such greater hopes for myself as a child.
yea...tonic water is fucking gross.
I'm eating ice cream out of my purse
Randomize
