Its about making memories worth repressing
ID DO HER
SHE HAS LUMPS OF DEODORANT IN HER ARMPIT, I THINK ONE FELL IN YOUR DRINK
For a whole 2 minutes you were convinced you were talking to my voicemail
Nothing quite says America like barbecue and beer at 9 in the morning.
Dude you has no fucking this poptart
What?
I dont know to explain this.
mallory made a planned parenthood decision maker flow chart again.
He is now tagging himself in my pics from last year where he is barely visable in the corner. i feel like he's marking his territory.
Does anyone know why "math wizard" is written on my arm?
I got my project done and a booty call in all before 1am. I'm a professional college kid.
i think you may have a shot to cock block in a moment. just saying.
Wake up an cock block please bc these are noises i dont ever want to hear again
Nothing ends a night of heavy drinking better than banging to three six mafia in your own driveway
Well. I went to a frat party where they mixed gin and Mountain Dew. My kingdom for some olives and vermouth.
Omg just opened my passenger side door and my outfit from last night is on the floorboard.
My kid just put flowers in my hair to make me pretty, then showed my boobs to an entire playground. He's either the best wingman or the worst.
this party is nice, but i have to go home and cry over anime in order to fill my daily quota of suffering
Randomize
