I am apparently in rockville maryland. I just threw up my tater tots I had fro brunch in a safeway parking lot. Then ordered a pizza. Pepperoni and pineapple. I'm sitting in the parking lot, next to my barf, waiting for my pizza. WOOF. Someone just gave me an oxycontin tab. Can u come get me? I'm scared
Myspace is for pedophiles and tweakers in the 818 trying to hook up. I always forget theres music there too
I'm playing a drinking game with nyc prep. This will not end well for meeee
Everytime the gay dude pretends he's not gay, drink a cosmo. Everytime the crosseyed girl is crosseyed, kill her
Just showed mom and dad the pics from San Francisco, while i played the Full House theme song in the background.
A lesson I learned in the hospital....when you masturbate while attached to a heart monitor, it scares the nurses a lot.
90% sure you snuck in there somewhere, all I really remember is big boobs in my face so I'm assuming it was you.
I come back home for break and my room is full of weed either my parents really love me or they are having more fun then I am in college
do you think if she looks enough like a dude i have to come out to my parents?
Yeah I said my new jacket was waterproof, not puke through your nose proof.
I may or may not have just hot boxed a backhoe on the construction site of a police station that's being rebuilt..
Just got stuck in an elevator on campus with a ton of British guys. My pants almost pulled themselves down.
Like you haven't hit rock bottom until you have had to throw your own turd out a window
I was the oldest, shortest, and soberest at the New Years party last night. My life sucks
I couldn't figure out what was more important, finishing the shot or putting out the fire on my leg.
i just wanna know who wrote "dibbz" on my ass?
Randomize
