just printed out my drug dealers resume for him. guess the ecstasy scene slows down when kids move back home for the summer...
I inspected his penis with a mini flashlight to check for visible stds...he was clean
they night at the roxbarryed us. came out of nowhere,bought us shots, and then the big one licked my hand? we got out of that noise.
Random memory from the wedding, the bartender showed us how to open the windows and piss out of them.
Dont really know what happened near the end, Pockets were filled with skittles though
Cut a hole in the crotch of my onesie so we could have sex without me getting cold. Best decision of my life.
Just an FYI if we break up I'm going to sleep with your cousin or who ever my dealer is.
Prerry sure I narrowly avoided being tazed by a swat cop last night... But on the up side, we found my purse.
I am seriously only coming over if there are McNuggets. I want 10 bitch. Honey mustard.
Condoms and Ice Cream, that's all we need.
so in addition to the two guys I slept with last night, and the third that I turned down this morning, a fourth has appeared. best Valentine's Day ever.
He listens to me complain and in return I send him naked pictures. It's a win win situation
That same damn squirrel keeps staring at me like I did something wrong. Nature knows when you're hung over.
there's a bowling ball in the dishwasher and a dog bone in the freezer
Do thigh high boots and a ball gag count as a costume?
Randomize