i just rode the bull and i see vomit in my future.
suddenly SuperBad didn't seem so funny anymore...she did have her period on my leg.
Sex tip #67: Jizz in the eye is very near the equivalent to pepper spray. Not recommended for pleasure enhancement.
She tried to keep her legs crossed last night while doing a keg stand. Way to keep it classy.
His dick might not be the answer to my problems, but I'm definitely ok with testing it as a possible solution.
Do you not remember you showing everyone in the bathroom your period stained underwear? I'd say you were pretty happy it came
Everything sucks i just wanna cry and smoke a bowl and pet my cat and die. All at the same time
If you are drunk already, then as your friend I am advising you to stop writing on your dads Facebook wall
I almost stepped in a homeless mans stream of urine as he was peeing. I love this city.
when i got home she was standing in my front yard not wearing a shirt and halfway crying/ halfway laughing
Send help, water and tortillas.
I broke her handcuffs. I feel like an animal.
On the flip side Weston asked if he could move me to Wisconsin to be his "moto hoe" which is actually a thing apparently
and yet oddly the jello shots tasted better coming up than going down
I sit across from him at graduation so I get to stare at him and think about how I fucked his step brother and laugh to myself
Randomize
