Seriously, stop peeing all over the toilet seat. It looks like movie theatre butter.
all you kept yelling was "i'm bored and i'm sober"
She touched you, you're now contaminated for 48 hours. Please watch out for rashes, hives and STDs as she's known to have all three.
Then she called me a home wrecking whore.
dont they live in a condo? that doesnt count.
that girl from work that wants to bone me just said 'the last time i went this long without sex was in jail'. sup, red flag
Ya, because touching his brother's face for 20 minutes in front of him wasn't bad enough, I also threw up in his garden and stole like 10 of his shirts before I left. But I fed his dog, so it's okay.
For the record, saying you're friends with the owner doesn't work when the owner is the one throwing you out.
I want to wear something that says I'm a lady (but I have condoms!)
Absolutely. I could drink and smoke that memory away in a matter of years at my current rate.
You should hear the lecture my mom just gave me about cooking pizzas when im drunk because "I could have died".
Besides the one of you shaking your cock for 10sec that was one of the best snapchat's ever haha
Keywords: shitstorm, police, jail.
she definitely didn't appreciate it when you justified bringing her home by yelling to me "fat bitches need love too"
He looks like a Mormon from a lifetime movie. Oddly I wanna give him a hand job
just had an allergic reaction to my dildo. My life is ruined.
Randomize
