She said her name was "party"
I love how its suddenly "not all about sex" now that he can't get it up
James and whatshisface bought me drunks. I am drinks.
I mean its not the first time I passed out drunk at barnes and noble.
He turned off the music when i walked in and introduced me to everyone. then they gave me jager and made me chug it while holding a giant purple dildo. everything resumed when i finished
he spent like 10 minutes trying to convince us that he was throwing up in the bushes on purpose in order to cut weight for wrestling
Alright dude i'm gonna go to go sleep off this soberness. my life is a cosmic joke
Also, I cannot stop picturing myself in a bar, 3 years from now ordering soda. Just soda. 30 pounds over weight and wearing a cat sweater. I feel like I'm heading in the wrong direction in life.
fond memories of taking my pregnancy test here in this Burger King
Is it bad that I tried to build an outfit based around "What do people who use condoms look like when they buy condoms?"
I AM BEING ACCOSTED BY A HUMMING BIRD
I AM IN MILD DISTRESS
How was your night?
I spent a lot of money and drank a lot of booze. Also was part of a successful search party
Congrats you've received dick pics from an Olympic silver medalist
i just really want to fuck a guy wearing lederhosen
it'll be sexier than it sounds, i promise
There way too many people in that club who have had their dick in me
Randomize
