my computer doesn't work...
why?
i puked on it last night
I haven't been laid since Bush was president.
Did you know the Dallas Cowboy cheerleaders have an exercise show ON Demand? Yeah, I had a lonely night
the clerk said it was the first time she had ever seen someone walk in the next day to return the tux still wearing the tux
im drunk. people are steering their children away from me. whatever it is that you called for, I assure you that I don't care. have a good night
why is there a fishing net hanging from my ceiling fan?
What can i say, i'm an artist. I think deep thoughts. In between the homoerotica and pterodactyl noises
At some point during thanksgiving the image of me pooping on ur moms chest will come to you. Your welcome!
IM FEEDING MY CAT ALL THE HAM
If a baby can come out of it, so can four raquetballs.
I'm so poor. I just wiped my ass with cocktail napkins... That I stole from the neighbors... When I was over there stealing Cheetos.
You're dick is like the main character. It needs its own picture.
My mom told me to get it out of my system now bc once I hit 30 it's not acceptable to get "white girl wasted".
good news: i got laid. bad news: by your boyfriend
We still on for Manwhore Monday?
Randomize
