He invited me to see "alison wonderland" WHAT THE FUCK THATS NOT A FIRST NAME/LAST NAME TYPE DEAL
i think you know its gunna be a bad day when it starts with throwing up into a red plastic cup
i dont think duct tape can fix my g spot
lets call myth busters
I had to drink heavily last night because I needed to forget that you told me you want to blow my dad.
just fucked two guys in less than 12 hours. i miss this part of being single.
and by single i mean slutty
When I found her she was drinking wine out of a plastic bag in a bathroom stall, staring at herself in the mirror and crying hysterically. Cabo does things to a person...
Apprently after I bit that bouncer, it all went down hill.
I would have gladly let him decapitate me with the way he was biting on my neck.
You sucked a guys dick who's name was Chad and that wasn't a sign that it was a bad idea?!
So wait. Let me get this straight lol... you... are are considering offering fetish services to "trample and own" someone for $80 in order to pay for someone to come organize ur shit? Pure genius.
Just trying to get my dicks in a row.
Dude, do you think he'd be pissed if he found out that I always reference him as my starter husband?
I love millennial parents. One of the moms at the daycare center literally told me she and her husband named two of her kids after batman characters and one after game of thrones
I told him he had to put his dick inside of me at approx 1159 to ensure it was birthday sex. i was 19 when he entered me.. came out 20. winning.
BRB. These cougars are squabbling over my junk and one of them is offering to pay my tuition
Randomize