I'm trying to bond with my sister... Its like getting to know a person I never met that I don't like
her vagina looked like a handful of raisins.
we're at Rob's house and just invented the best drinking game ever....we are on Chatroulette and everytime we see a dick we all have to drink.
You pointed at his crotch then made a thrusting motion. I think it's safe to say every guy at my college loves you.
Blowjobs in the shower are a lot like blowjobs not in the shower. Awesome.
When you get home we need to compare our schedules and set up masturbation slots. I'm scares of you walking in on me. Again.
sorry he hasn't talked to me since the surprise salvia incident...
it's like his penis is God's way of saying "sorry about his face"
Yes and yes. Got taken to a Florida strip club. I desperately want to flood my eyes and ears with hand sanitizer right now.
Look at my fb. It says single. That's the gospel.
I put in a tampon while driving a moving vehicle. I feel like this is simultaneously a new low and the sort of feat that deserves a merit badge.
I came home braless and wearing a tail....
Can't. I'm doing shots with my mom.
Totally writing my paper on the toilet. Makes me miss you.
I just licked honey off my own tit. Is there anything about that which doesn't SCREAM single???
Randomize
