My boss' voice literally gives me gas
"Worlds Wildest Videos" should be called "Crazy White People"
its amazing how hard it is to tell vomit from stuffing the day after
about to play the homeward bound drinking game. alone. what are you doing tonight?
Either he was jacking off or having a seizure next to me in bed. Either way, I was too lazy to help.
I should go buy the economy size box of condoms and sprinkle a path like rose petals to my bed... Think he'd get the hint?
I feel like our low point of the night was when we had to start chasing with ice cubes and wheat thins.
Just missed the last train for another 5 hours. There are balls in or around the mouth of my life.
I dnt think she needs convincing on the threesome part, it's the threesome with your roommate situation that needs some work
I feel like parents watching our children. You want to step in and help them but you just have to let them make their mistakes
If its possible to have a hickey on your nipple, I have one. Thank you.
Fuck that, come home. Let's get drunk and judge people.
I am the fucking FIFTH wheel. How do you think it's going?
My room looks so cute. Who wouldn't want to hook up with me in here?
Quickly hiding the condom wrappers, ropes, and handcuffs right before the parents arrive to help with moving out? Priceless.
Randomize
