I am at a 420 party and i just told a girl "hey, less not getting donuts, more getting donuts"(1-855): and did she get any doughnuts?
No. I am devastated
just graduated on the spot on the quad where I vommed freshman year. full circle
It was like having sex with a donkey. Everytime she got close she would kick me.
test run with donkey pinata disastrous. broken glass and tequila EVERYWHERE
So I just saw Jonah Hill at LAX and decided my fat fetish is back
You should go to counseling for that
I knew we would be good together when you made me lick jameson off your boob while you screamed along with racks on racks
You guys don't happened to be dressed as gladiators, do you?
You're not supposed to support this behaviour, btw the judge recognized me
you invented a new sport called "bacon pulling" and you cried everytime a piece broke
I got to see some gay bartender let a girl with daddy issues whip Travis in the balls with his own belt. Totally worth it.
I walked around with red solo cups on my feet, weeds tied around my neck and a tree in my hand
Things you Cant unsee: When your smartphone syncs to your dads laptop and downloads photos...including his porn stash.
you gave a quesadilla a blow job with sour cream at Denny's.
Im just confused who has their mom break up with someone
I swear, I make more use of my creative writing major with sexting than I do with anything else
Randomize
