so when am I gonna get some from you?
when you dick grows 3 inches
You just kept taking about baking cornbread and doing your physics. Even drunk assed random you is a better student than me.
frankly if you're gonna get kicked out of your place, hooking up with your gay roommate's boyfriend would be the most entertaining way to do it.
it's kinda bad that we're already planning travel arrangements to his funeral
On campus. Grown men in women's sexy bee costumes. Complete with legwarmers. This cannot be real life.
It started with jello shots. It ended with tears.
I told him he was a man of science and that he should conduct experiments on my tits to see how they stay up. I need you to hold onto my larynx when I'm drunk.
I blew him while he was standing up and he drooled on my head
I kinda took a step back after our "surprise bottles night"
School starts Thursday. Don't fling yourself out of the car to throw up screaming "classy" before I park this time.
It's a new year.
Trying to take a nap and my brain decides to play "lets have flashbacks every time you blew it with a chick in college". It's a montage of stupidity and youthful inexperience. I don't know whether to laugh or cry.
We work out, have really intense sex, and then eat cereal marketed for children. We have a system, okay?
Just wiped the ashes off my forehead before he came over to have sex. Definitely going to hell.
Why the fuck am I at this dorm meeting? I don't pay $50,000 a year to stay sober.
I kept telling you not to give them blowjobs, but you kept screaming back, "it's okay, we're friends on facebook!"
Randomize
