Google if cops ever smoke weeds and then bust them. I need to know immidiately.
I KNOW you don't honestly think you can pay me back in lotto tickets.
i love beer. I convinced myself that I'm going to ace the exam tomorrow. I can't even do that when I actually study.
When one is stoned and browsing online dating profiles all men sound like serial killers.
I think a kid would responsible me up
I think it's god's punishment for my behavior in Vegas . Lies were told. Angels were defiled. Pools were pissed in
She had YOLO tattooed on her ass. Like, one cheek said YO, the other said LO. Even I can't handle that level of hot mess.
Dude, you went to another fraternity's formal as a joke and came home with one of their dates. AND you managed to get her number. Please explain to me how that's not a good night.
we fucked and then he hand fed me a hot pocket
We inadvertently arrived at the strip club on Bear Night. The dancers all look like young Santa Claus and there's a buffet....
We were sad, then we got horny, and then we needed some ranch
I can't believe that after 9 years of signing things as "BATMAN", the first place to turn it down was the liquor store down the block.
He wants me to fart in his mouth and is offering me SOOOO much coke. I'm stuck between a rock and a hard place. GIVE ME ADVICE.
The Lion King Is on YouTube
Until 2 minutes ago I actually had a chance to pass my midterms... thanks alot
Omfg 7 hour sex session who am I?
PS: I think I'm in love
Ability to walk tomorrow tbd
Randomize
