He is fucking rediculously sexy. DO HIM NOW. NOW. NOW. NOW.
Remember when I use to call my dick 'the pendulum'
wtf?
It is now the artist formerly known as 'insideyourgirlfriend'
Picture Ja Rule and 50 Cent having a sexy full grown love child son...He's on my bus right now, wearing an outside jacket with no shirt underneath. My fashion sense and libido are fighting it out.I'll keep you posted on who wins.
it went kinda like vodka, childhood memories, screaming/cursing, fist fight, tears, broken shit, passing out. in that order. tis the season.
I have tardy slips. and absent slips if you don't show up to the bar. and trust me, if you are absent there will be a saturday school. I'm teaching you how to drink tonight.
My little brother got home at 4am too, we drunk ate together. It was a kodak moment.
my fake id says im a 34 yr old russian lady ... how is this working
We had sex and then he fed me pie. This is the best friends-with-benefits situation ever.
It feels like im being cuddled by a thousand little smurf vaginas
Never backflip into an above ground pool. I think the gash will be smaller by Monday though.
This holiday season is going to be rough between people coming home for the holidays and the already regulars on my list I might have to clone my vagina to make sure I get everyone for all they are worth
Just gave my pregnant cat a safe sex talk. That high.
I know that whole thing was awkward. Not worth the piece of cake.
There's a hole in our hallway wall. Don't hate me. I'll fix it. It's only about the size of a beach ball. I promise to never scale walls in our apartment ever again. Don't hate me. I love you.
I'm the only person I know that carries solo cups, shot glasses, ping pong balls, two decks of cards, and a lawn chair in his trunk. I'm ready to turn anything, anywhere into a party.
Randomize