I just had a 2 1/2 hr conversation about the pros and cons of taping your ballsack to your taint, which then led into the unveilling of lady gaga being a hermaphrodite.
I finally had sex with him last night, but we used a condom so it doesn't add to my number of sexual partners.
sitting on my lesbian neighbors couch, sexting, & eating a burrito.. that single
You sat there for 20minutes trying to seduce the picture of my dad.
Min and u sung xhionubjs. Cause that's what u kiij like a xhionunk
I'm like the Mother Theresa of booty calls.
Omg. The nephews found my stripper pole. The scary part is theyre good at it.
When / where did the additional couches appear?
Additional?
James brought one with him when he showed up. Theres still 2 outside and according to facebook, at least one more burned up.
Now I have to set an alarm for less than 6 hours from now to wake her up, get her showered and get her to her first day of tutoring a kid from her church. WTF is my life?
Was your wine and cheese snap taken from the toilet?
He cried & told me I reminded him off his mother. I don't want to talk about it. I want to drink about it.
So our bartender was in the bathroom the same time I was so I ordered a beer mid stream.....is that weird?
when you wake up naked in a bed with glowsticks, a rolled ankle, a hangover, and a condom; alone. you wonder shit
Listen, i know this is weird for you, but as your fuck buddy, id prefer if you didnt fuck her.
Youre asking too much from me
Why does my mask smell like doritoes?
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