I told him he can't put it there till we're exclusive. That's totally The Relationship Hole.
Nope changed our mind. Decided your strange bacon like body odor wasn't what we want to smell tonight.
I told him I'd give him a BJ if he admited Hanson was good.
he said it was like fucking a big sack of slut potatoes
When I try to close my eyes ibwant to puke. Going to the basement to watch pocohantas. That'll keep myeyes open. And puke free.
I would totes be making out with random people in the name of america if I was at the white house right now
My mom is holding a picture of me, crying, and saying "where did I go wrong" over and over again.
How does one chug a beer and swing the bottle at someone in a single motion? This guys a beer ninja man
Can't decide if I want to watch full house or the fleet wood Mac concert during the presidential debate.
I would rather get explosive diarrhea at the aquarium than go home alone tonight
I'm training him to sit when I whistle the tune from the hunger games. I'm going to be the coolest parent ever.
I ate the most amazing corn dog today.
I will probably dream about it.
It's seriously like a finger. But it's a cock. I don't know what to do. I feel like I fuck him to be polite.
I HAVE DISCOVERED LONDON AND IT FILLS ME WITH JOY
I stole the butter cup cuz i brought home my rolls and chicken and didnt want the butter everywhere. I miss your body because its amazing.
Randomize