If you made a robot out of pillows would he be nice? It's hard to imagine a mean pillow robot. And who came up with the idea of shaving their legs?
gail simmons from food & wine magazine just heard me order my plan b pill
did you ask her what wine to pair it with?
You taught me that having a dip while u shit is awesome. I appreciate u for that
Sometimes i look at the biltmore estate and wonder just how small George Vanderbilt's penis was...
For his 21st I'm getting a fancy hotel that way he can at least sleep in a nice bathtub
Two man bar crawl was hectic. Just found leaves in my pocket.
I just saw at least a dozen senior citizens on roller blades. way to drunk for this.
FUCK YOU CALIFORNIA. YOU DO NOTHING RIGHT. FIRST PROP 8 AND NOW THIS.
Yes, do intervene. Unless it involves cowboys with loud trucks and hard 9 inch dicks. Then just come back for me in the morning.
Its so fun. We're having a music war with the boat next to us. They have strippers.
I let him watch sportscenter while we fucked. How did he repay me? I'm now missing class to get a shot in the ass for the clap. You and I are getting wasted and keying someone's car this weekend.
I'm just gonna get real fat and join the circus.
female sloths literally scream when they want sex and can be heard up to 700 meters away
i think i might be a female sloth
I woke up this morning and had to retrieve my clothes from the flagpole, they were using my boxers as a makeshift rally flag for drinking. Yeah last night was a success.
My hands smell like vagina and ham.
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