Youre a pretentious asshole and im not sure who you think you are. Get the hell over yourself and the self righteous culture snob image because its pretty obnoxious.
lol whn u cming hre I nd 2 c ur fce
IF YOU TEXT ME ONE MORE SHORTENED VERSION OF A WORD, THE ONLY THING YOU'LL SEE IS MY FIST IN YOUR FACE.
I managed to convince my mom that my hickey was a birth mark I have always had. She cried for an hour about being a terrible mother for never noticing it.
She slept with 4 other guys since we went on a break. And her ex. But apparently she hasn't given any bjs out of respect for me. Why does that comfort me?!
In retrospect pumpkin carving while drinking Patron was a bad idea.
I just helped a group of highschool stoners find a safe place to smoke I feel like a responsible rolemodel
My neighbor caught me peeing on his rose bushes at 2 in the morning while wearing my Santa hat. My sex appeal has never been higher.
Why yes. I did get laid looking like that. My sheets look like there was a clown orgy
Why are you there anyways?
Pickin up ball pit balls from craigslist
Shitty. Well if it makes you feel any better I just had a toothless wasted crackhead in my bar who was mad because there are TOO MANY FUCKIN TREES in Nantucket.
I'm almost too old to be on The Real World but feel like I'm too young to be on The Bachelor and I'm just really confused with my place in life.
bought even stevens on dvd and enough weed and pizza bagels to last us a week.. ready to get snowed in?
So, were you planning on telling me you left your panties in my glovebox??
A guy in a chewbacca suit just came up to me and asked me to buy him weed.
the orange of my hangover Tang is hurting my eyes... my coworkers knew it was hangover Tang too.
Randomize
