he's chasing his jose cuervo with hot tub water
Im going to buy a thermometer. If its above 104 im going to the hospital if its under 104 im going to the bar
i screwed him while his gf was puking in the shower. 2011 is looking up already
There was a gay guy in drag passed out against the wall but we had sex in there anyway.
When I said to shut up, I meant it. I'm sorry you have a bald spot now, but it was necessary.
So apparently I threw a potted plant at a clown last night and told him to get his life together.
Good afternoon everyone! Just texting to inform you that Andrew, your emotionally detached man-whore, will be back starting this weekend. Please RSVP.
Anderson Cooper just came out.
Crying tears of glitter and rainbows right now. Gonna decorate my dildo like My Little Pony in his honor.
He rolled up to the party in an ice cream truck. He was definitely my first priority
So, settle a debate for my housemates. Have you measured your dick. And how long. Results Will not be disclosed
i feel like if we ever had babies together they would just be drunk all the time
all I remember is grinding on everyone in the room regardless of gender and quoting the lion king non-stop. We need to stop buying Jameson.
as I was leaving in the morning with his clothes on his roommate pops up and goes 'don't you dare steal that shirt, i gave it to him for his birthday'.
....I just did my boss
I love you. And I will hold your hand as we skip on the road to hell.
He’s like Batman if Batman went down on me and gave me multiple toe curling orgasms. He left without saying a word before I pulled the pillow off my face
Find out if he’s shared his techniques with a friend and set me up with him. You know I’ve always had a thing for Robin!!!!
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