Dual....:-)
And then I interrupted the father of the groom, to ask if she was "ballet or pole" in the middle of his story about his niece, the dancer.
FUCK YOU CALIFORNIA. YOU DO NOTHING RIGHT. FIRST PROP 8 AND NOW THIS.
Remind me tomorrow to take that ball-gag out of my purse.
He told me that "my little fuckpig" was a term of endearment in Britain. I think I'm in love.
All I remember is apologizing to his sister for being a bad influence while I was throwing up into a big gulp cup.
I just realized that there are baby oil soaked hand prints on the wall over my bed. Last night was a good night.
I woke up at 3am, my head in a toilet, still at the kegger, wearing a random cowboy hat.
I woke up at 4am on the floor covered in olive oil and fire extinguisher powder but all I wanted to know was where the rest of my booze was at.
The extent of "getting it in" was this creepy guy sticking his finger in my bellybutton
i woke up with 5 inch heels locked on my feet and my car keys missing. this is gonna be an interesting walk home
I just tried to pay for a coffee with a dollar and a necco wafer.
What did you two do last night and why did Sam send me a picture of your dick?
I didn't think it was possible but he dislocated his thumb during intercourse last night then cried
I'm trying to imagine how upset he was when he realized that he had been cockblocked by a picture of a sloth and I am drawing indescribable pleasure from it.
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