You know, sometimes I seriously doubt your commitment to sparkle motion.
highlight of my day: just saw a crying girl get dropped off at home wearing only socks, booty shorts, and a dirty wifebeeter. I wonder what happened to the costume...
the fda needs to get their shit together cause these four loko going away parties are gonna kill me
Old lady caught me peeing in the street and yelled at me and said "I REBUKE YOU"
I was an emotional waste case that night. She made me stroke her ponytail.
How could you give up sex for lent? I gave up religion for lent years ago and never looked back. Or give up civility, not sex.
And drunk me decided to play keep away with sober me's dignity
Bunch of Navy warships just sailed into New York Harbor for Fleet Week. Nobodys getting laid this weekend.
she just called me the flavor packet to her ramen noodles. get me the fuck out of here.
this celing is unfamiliar to me... im just vaguely wondering where i am. but not quite concerned enough to do anything about it.
So wait. Let me get this straight lol... you... are are considering offering fetish services to "trample and own" someone for $80 in order to pay for someone to come organize ur shit? Pure genius.
To drink from my fkask next to a cop car or to not drink from my flask next to a cop car
He was late, on account of he accidentally went to the Al-Anon meeting across the hall, and it took him 30 minutes to realize he was in the wrong room.
I think you should do the fixer upper relationship. Like lawyers do pro bono work with underserved populations, you can do pro bono relationship work.
So after we found out he wasnt throwing up blood in was just hawaiian punch and we all failed breathalyzers the cop drove us around like a taxi and brought us back to the apartment
Randomize
