let's makeout let's makeout let's make out let's make out
Did you see that girl I got with last night?
Girl? Oh...weird...to be honest Ive always thought you were gay..
new midget porn idea. Wizard of Jizz: Munchkins Revenge
it was like one of those moments where the couple runs together and kisses and everyone in the airport claps. but instead of clapping an indian guy walked by and said 'ahhhright! get some!'
time for a it's-monday-night-and-this-week-is-gunna-suck-drink.
There was a note in my hello kitty underwear telling me "don't go over 9000"
I always knew I'd be the first one with an STD
Just woke up to the best idea ever. Vodka infused BUTTER. Take a second, and think of the possibilities.
You slammed your face into the toilet and declared you were moving your bed into the bathroom in the morning. Also, you insisted on crawling everywhere because feet are "overrated."
Beer is acceptable at 830am if it's your bday, right?
Gas station champagne. And before you say anything I'll have you know it's imported. From California. So get fucked.
I need an adult. someone more adult than my current state
Started the 4th with a foursome. I don't know if it gets more festive than that. #MERICA
I know I'm going to throw up tonight it's just a matter of when and where
He said his parents were apparently coming over to surprise him with breakfast and I’ve never gotten dressed and run out of the door that quickly. I have commitment issues.
Randomize
