Im drinkin out of a coconut! I think im gonna dip my balls in it!
We're playing Big Buck Hunter to determine who buys the next pitchers. And they said video games wouldn't help me later in life
Dude you missed it. This guy in the liquor store knocked over a whole display of 5 hour energy with his face.
Suppose hypothetically u received a request for face time communication with a gentleman who looked astonishingly like a penis. Would you indulge him in conversation? Hypothetically of course.
There are Vine videos that have lasted longer than he did
I want to show up to tomorrow's study group looking like I got hit by a train. A train made of dicks.
She asked if she should pack the condoms, I told her I plan on drinking so much that it won't be possible.
Didn't think the day of being the oldest in a club would be when I'm twenty one. Even the bouncer looked surprised when he ID me.
I was thinking about the biological process causing me to puke while I was puking. THAT'S how much I'd been studying.
Why did I wake up with BYOB sharpied on my stomach
Note to self:A blacklight toga party at a frat house is a bad idea. Some things cannot be unseen
I almost forgot to feel shameful, if that answers your question.
Gez, you make a couple noises and all of the sudden your the loud girl.
Hold on gotta plunge the sink
Is that a euphemism for sex? Either way, have a good time
He was someone so memorable that I'd completely forgotten he'd existed up to and during the encounter
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