he just kept saying that he had liquor dick..then he tried to fuck me without removing his pants.
Some girl just asked us for directions back to campus. we told her to take the first four lefts. We live on a block. she believed us
What would you have done with a 40 foot neon parrot anyway?
I watched her choke out a bouncer with the broken strap from her purse, I think shes the one.
i just peed with my friends in your backyard... do you still live here
Quick question, when did I develop feelings, and how can I make them go away?
That's two questions.
He played the same pre-sex songs as his brother...
Well I talked to some Canadians today, and I'm keeping a vigilant watch for sharks, so I'm pretty booked up.
YOU DON'T JUST GET TO CALL AND SAY YOU MIGHT BE DEAD, THEN NOT ANSWER!
I just ran into the woods like an idiot because ADVENTURE.
Her husband thinks she's banging me and nothing is going to change his mind so I told her we might as well just bang and make him right
I thought I would be a proper lady and put my spare panties in a ziplock
It bothers me when I see my old fuck buddies starting families on Facebook.
I sense lesbianism
That's a weird power
I think I just got booty called by someone I've never slept with or even really had a conversation with before.
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