Just left a map of the Aleutian islands on this Eskimo girls face. Check one off my Alaska to do list.
Being a girl sucks.
Being a boyfriend sucks for about a week, too
Dude manswers just said that a guy can only cum up to eight times in one day. I'm gonna prove that show wrong.
ha well at least you have goals.
When I got to his place, he served wine and cheese and made me sit on the balcony while he read his poetry to me. He cockblocked himself.
look what he's done to me, i actually want to be a stripper now.
Do I buy ice cream sandwiches or a 40? these are the difficult life decisions I am faced with.
You went from loaded cattleman, to football player, to better football player, to art major from Missouri. Your future was looking so good for a while.
Walk-of-shaming home in that dress you got arrested in. Six guys called out your name when I walked past. I've never been more proud of us.
Hmd? did you really just created an abbrievation for hold my dick?
TONIGHT IS GOING TO BE A FUCKING BLAST. EVEN IF I HAVE TO SET OFF A BUNCH OF FIREWORKS IN YOUR KITCHEN.
Apparently fireball doesn't mix well with my no carb diet
He met a girl at a stop light and managed to give her his number while driving down the highway.
FOUND MY PANTIES COMINY JOME
It is 5:00PM and I'm just now putting on underwear.
I can't give advice right now, I have a yeast infection.
Randomize
