Unless I'm getting a singing midget telegram, I'm not going to smile
I think "bars open christmas minneapolis" is the saddest google search i've ever done.
I faked it too. I just spit on your bed.
I think that's the first time i've seen 'you look like an ugly version of my ex' work as a pickup line
I have bruises on the inside of my thighs from sliding down the stair case...thanks for encouraging that slut show
My eyes feel like they're throwing up and I am the only human on campus
Please come and rip my uterus out before it does it itself
Its like bringing all that milkshake to the yard and I'm a diabetic and can't have any
Aka reading hardcore gay robot porn as a steady trickle of elementary schoolers walk by me every so often and im still in uniform as there councilor
Who is also still dressed up as a pirate
I will be there. invited or not. I go where the pancakes go.
OH MY GOD REMEMBER ALL THAT I LOVE NEW YORK I DVRED BECAUSE I JUST DID
Changed all my ex bf's names to "no" in my phone so the next time I try to drunk text one of them it'll basically be like Russian roulette
I managed to break 3 nails and loose my stockings, but I made 87 dollars at the strip club. I asked where I could find an application on the way out.
i woke up this morning with a fake eyeball in my pocket
I woke up this morning hand cuffed to the bed with three bruised ribs and Amy written in lipstick on my chest... what happen lastnite??
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