im dirt poor will suck dick for halloween costume
I take back everything bad I said about that song party in the usa. There's just something about seeing a cross dresser lipsing it that makes a song sooo much better.
oh no, im for sure still drunk. i wana eat evrything in the fancy feast commercial... everything
A very small part of me wants you to appreciate me for more than just my breasts. But the rest of me is breasts.
I was pissed last night bc this girl didn't want to have sex but offered to reimburse me for the condoms. That just made me upset
You have plans tonight?
Stress crying into a bottle of long island ice tea mix...other than that nope
For months it was all good and well just having sex. Now, something in me has snapped and I'm dreaming of taking turtleneck Christmas pictures with him. Fuck you, we're going out tonight. I need this.
Everyone here knows my boyfriend as "Half Baked". Life, he's doing it right.
I'm convinced that the Christmas lights in my room contributed to the great sex.
You called a girl at 4:30am to tell her "your pussy is my top priority" while simultaneously Urban Spooning late night cafes.
Fuck. I have to get my shit together by lunch. Mission impossible.
She kept calling herself DJ McDonalds and said she wanted to make some Egg McMusic.
I was thirsty after the sex and it was a long trek back to res so naturally I stole chocolate milk from his fridge as I left
He called me baby cakes during sex... Can U not
You were silly, high, and chewing on things.
Randomize
