no, he came in my armpit
I am at a striph cluv. They are ovealls everywhere. I have hot rock botto.
I just saw the pics of me from the costume party as Party Boy. I've effectively cock-blocked myself forever.
Why does every girl think its ok to cheat on their boyfriends with me?
I like one night stands...theyre like crushes for big kids
Just croosed over that too drunk for chemistry class line
Lightning struck the tree right outside of her window as I came inside her. I think its God's way of saying go by plan b.
The walls are thin & apartments are narrow so all the bedrooms are next to each other. Our complex could compete in synchronized orgasms.
I am going to ride along with a cop tonight so please don't get arrested because that would be super awkward for me.
I'm out of town so we should be golden.
Where did this racoon skin hat, stop sign and bag full of tacos come from?
Narnia or $5 pitcher night either way
That freshman guy that keeps trying to hook up with me just saved someone's life ... Should I reconsider?
My condoms might be a little big for you but hey, a big sweater is better than no sweater at all when it's cold right?
I'm gonna keep a minimum of five drink promise to myself
You mean maximum 5?
we dropped acid in chinatown. worst. idea. ever. too many colors. and nobody has any idea where steve is.
I woke up with her finger in my vag. Let's just say that I'm one horny inquisitive drunk.
Randomize
