...she's taking her top off and singing songs from Anastasia. I swear to God were solumates.
just had sex with a midget and didnt wrap it... were totally gonna have a tv show :)
I've never been so happy to start my period. I'm gonna let everyone in the store see me buying tampons.
So if we break up over this are you still gonna come over and do my dishes?
Im in the STD packet for new students this year. And im going to be plastered tonight so be forewarned
I thought the cops would know I was on shrooms because I was 10ft tall.
We were showing our tits to everyone because it's breast cancer awareness month and we care deeply
I thought we were doing it cause it's Tuesday
Dude, she found the red hair dye from 4th of July. then she proceeded to give you a red mohawk for a more patriotic thanksgiving eve. How do you not remember that?
I just blew my weed a kiss
I immediately regret the tequila decision.
Probably TMI here but I just rubbed one out while listening to thunderstruck, almost ripped my dick off.
yo knit me an eyepatch. but also make it usable as a thong
I'm so lazy and tired i just want to cry and fall asleep in a bed of egg mcmuffins.
Yes but funny for a 45 year old hell bent on reliving her college days by giving body shots and hand jobs. Not necessarily in that order
Checking out a dudes' nachos instead of the dude #foreveralone
Randomize
