I just watched a trucker jack off to a picture of Ellen DeGeneres at a truck stop in Nebraska.
Spotted on freeway- girl in ford focus takes a hit from a 7 inch pipe while knee driving. She winked at me. I want her life.
i guess i called my mom last night. she wasnt nearly as impressed with what we did in the bathroom as i was
I'm picking out a half way decent top so if I get arrested I'll have a respectable mug shot photo. Always be prepared.
Okay I woke up in my room, snuggie on, had a water bottle in my hand my tv was on Disney channel and my cigarettes are gone. And I deleted every text in my phone but one that said 'you are absolutely welcome'
Found out why they call her Halfpipe Jenny-NOT the cool reason we thought
My vagina would be awesome. I would be the most popular girl in the village.
Ladystoner tip: if eyes are bloodshot, lime green eyeliner makes them appear less red. its basic artt.
its fine. mom just made me chug a long island. and made a crying face when i balked. we'll talk tomorrow.
I just met his other fuck buddy...I am thinking of befriending her just to fuck with him...manuplating my roommates into hating each other is boring me i need something else to do
Two hot shots of tequila for breakfast? Yeah today is gonna be a shit show
She's drunk as hell locked up I. The bathroom with my shoes where do I go from here
Look, opening a Guinness with a steak knife and nearly cutting your finger off to make another carbomb is always a good idea.
Senior week was like trying to herd cats. Very drunk cats.
My ex husband is now my side piece. #thisis30
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