I feel uncomfortable when she gargles my jizz.
some dude is getting blown right outside the bar in his car. reeediculous
class
he's dribbling her head like he's fucking allen iverson
i scrubbed and i scrubbed and i scrubbed and i still was a whore
I just got a ticket for the snow penis we made in our front yard.
Seriously just heard: "we need some good ass wine. how bout this swa-vig-non blank"
hahahaha. Oh virginia: where the south begins
we made out inside of a kiddie slide for about 20 mins. it was the sexiest, most suffocating experience I've ever had
I decided they need a food cart that just roams around the library like the cotton candy people at the circus. But with real food. like tacos cause it sounds delicious.
I sincerely thought making it to McDonalds by 10:00am was a shoe-in but it appears that I need to adjust my zoom when looking at the map before walking to places.
Well, I can mark "throwing up in a daycare bathroom due to a hangover" off my bucket list.
I THINK it was the lead singer. Whoever he was, I have his number and his dick was pierced.
It was totally the lead singer.
Stop jerking off to vines my recommended list on YouTube is getting weird.
he's been dating her for 18 months and cheating on her with me for 16. if that's not commitment, i don't know what is.
He went in for a kiss so I shook his hand instead.
I couldnt face her after that wonderful, terrible blowjob. Made a rope out of towels and climbed out her bathroom window.
my mom tells me this morning that i was blasting teach me how to dougie at 2 am last night and refused to leave her room until she dougied with me
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